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8/21/26 him.

it feels like i keep finding myself back at level fuckin zero. Like my ex (ill call him jay) rly went through the trouble of SEARCHING for my number that i dont even remember giving him, asking for my insta user since i changed it, just for him to unfollow me and remove me as a follower and idek when that happened cuz im barley even on instagram anymore. Like my insta is full of ppl that i dont even fw and the one time i look back to see if hes even following me i js get hit in the face with bullshit. I OVERLY LET HIM PLAY IN MY FACE and i knew he was only texting me for a rebound and cuz he was high. i just hate being a final option, i hate being a last resort, and i hate knowing that ill drop everything just to have a conversation with him. This might be a sign from the universe just letting me know that its finally over with him and i been knew that but its like im letting him play with my character. I hate him so fucking much, and if i wasnt on sorout id start saying some real fucked up shit abt him. I just need to work on my self consept more and get rid of my memories of him, i dont even want him to be a person thats in my category of people i know.

i hate my heart, i hate how it makes me feel towards people that dont even have my best intrests, thats why i block it off from my brain. THATS WHY IM AROACE NOW!!! its like i cant even seem to get attached or attracted to someone thats good for me...imean i have but thats a secret for another blog. i just hate how easy i am...i dont wanna feel like this anymore, ik its simething ill grow out of but damn this shit hurts and i cant stand living through it. Ill smoke as much weed and take whatever drugs i want but it wont stop me from thinking abt jay or anyone i have interest in. i hate myself for this.

8/20/26 first blog

YAYY i made a blog page so i can talk abt whatever i want...under the watch of pricefeild heh. Um i rly like how im making up my site so far and ive lowkey been on this for the past...3 days??? idk but ive been coding and watching EMH at the same time which is rly cool, idk if my friend wants to still go out tdsy but if she doesnt then thats fine i can keep doing what im doing. Ive grown to being alone and in the house since a whole bunch of shit happened this summer but it does tend to get boring. Theres something going on at the skatepark near my house so im most likely gonna go to that and its happening this sunday so yea thatll be fun:3

im very hungary tho so idk how im gonna eat. ive been craving sweets lately and ive been DESPERATELY trying to gain weight, but i cant rly do that when 1 there iosnt any food in the house 2 niggas like to act like they have no money and 3 im still smoking this burnt ass puff that i got on the 4th of july. i also gotta make this box smaller smh, anyways, im probably gonna continue to wait for this girl to text me and lmk whats going on cuz im not abt to wait till 5 just so i can hand out (but stuff usually starts to pop off around 5 anyway) sigh...im hungry...and i wanna get high...and also coding is very time consuming.